


Sleeping Zandy

by Quandisa



Series: Fairy Tales for Lesbians [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fairy Tale Retellings, Family Bonding, Fluff and Fun, Zircon!Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 20:31:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13888593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quandisa/pseuds/Quandisa
Summary: The legends told of Sleeping Beauty that waited for Love's kiss to break the curse.But this is a family goofing around.





	Sleeping Zandy

 

“Oh what cruel Fate has brought this young beauty so low?!” Prince Reenie hung back her cape, knelt on one knee, and held the hand of the woman slumbering away. The young girl at her side giggled into her hand.

“Once so full of life and nagging, now here she lies dead to the world! Oh let her dream! Dream of world with more cute blondes!”

The sleeping beauty murmured out of the side of her mouth, “Stick to the script!”

“What this?! The maiden longs for a kiss?!”

“I think she said stick to the script, but Sleeping Beauty isn’t suppose to talk in her sleep.” 

“Nope, I think she definitely said kiss me. You can’t go around kissing people in their sleep without permission first. Right, my squire?”

“Right!”

“Don’t be telling her to kiss people!” The beauty whispered without breaking her spell.

“If that is your wish fair maiden! As I kiss those rosy lips so delicate and soft, may my love break the curse that keeps your enchanting eyes hidden so-”

“Kiss her already! Kiss her! Kiss her!”

“I can’t keep my audience waiting.”

Leaning forward the prince place a single kiss on the lady’s lips....until the lady had to whack the prince on the back a few times.

“It’s suppose to be a short kiss.” The princess crossed her arms covered with flowing fabric.

“It never said. I was following my character motivation.”

“Uh huh. Where’s my castle?”

“Castle?”

“Castle! We need to take Sleeping Beauty to your castle so you can get married and live happily ever after!”

“The princess needs to see the size of my castle before she lowers her-oof! Drawbridge! I was going to say drawbridge!”

“Reenie.” The princess warned.

“Prince Reenie,” the squire corrected.

“Only on the weekend. Then I’m princess Reenie.”

“Yea! More princesses more fun! We gotta take her to your castle!” 

“Castle eh?” The blonde prince held her chin in thought. “I got it! Squire! Fetch the horse key!”

“Got it!” The girl ran off.

“What horse key?”

“You’ll see. Can the lady walk, or has years sleeping wasted away your muscles?”

“Oh I’m fine.” She took the prince’s arm and was held out the front door the blonde squire in tow. 

“Peri, untie the horse!”

“What?”

“Unlock the car.”

“Oh! Okay! The horse is ready!” She ran into the back seat.

“Shall we?” Bowing, the prince opened the door waiting to assist the princess.

“This better be good.” The princess took the help.

“Castle! Castle!” The squire bounced. “Mom, put on your seat belt!”

“Yeah, prince Reenie put on your seat belt.”

“I am. I am. Squire? Give the lady your scarf.”

“‘K.”

“Why do I need her scarf?” 

“Wear it as a blindfold.”

“Why?”

“Wear it! Wear it!”

“I never could say no to a cute girl.”

“Then how is it you say no to me so much.”

“You’re a brat.”

There was a snicker in the back.

“Why are you so mean?”

“She not mean. You need use better words.” 

“I have better ones but I leave them for work.”

“You have a dirty mind. You’re always talking about dirt and rocks. Are we going to a  _ real  _ castle?”

“I do like my rocks. I like to tumble them until they’re round, and smooth, and-”

“Answer your squire’s question.” The princess crossed her arms as she wasn’t enjoying being blind.

“It’s like a castle. But you can’t let mommy-

“The  _ princess!” _

“The princess know. So keep your lips sealed. It’s a secret!”

“Hooray! But don’t open your big mouth!”

“Since mean is my mouth big?”

“Mommy says you have a big mouth that you jog off because-because-”

“Because she likes the sound of her own voice. And it’s run off, sweetie, not jog off. Jogging is what she does in the morning.”

“Why must to try to turn my own daughter against me?”

“I’m not. I’m just saying things that are true out loud and she hears them.”

“Aren’t we supposed to being teaching being kind over being right?”

“Are your feelings hurt?”

“No.”

“Then it’s fine.”

The squire giggled, kicking her feet in her seat. “The princess and the prince will get married, and then I’ll be a knight and save Amy from tub monster!”

“Amy has a tub monster?” The driver asked.

“Yeah, but I’ll fix it!”

“How do you plan to do that?”

“I don’t know! But knights save people so, I’ll be a knight!”

“Sound logic reigns once more.”

“Don’t tease. Do have to keep the blindfold on?”

“You never complained before.”

The group chatted merrily making their journey to the castle. It must have been an old castle for the doors creaked and a strong musk filled the princess’s nose. It was warmed polished wood, leather, and the dust of ages.

“This seems familiar.”

“Sh!” The prince had to correct her snickering squire.

When the princess was seated on her creaky throne the prince pulled off the cloth relieving her eyes.

“Oh Princess fair, behold my court! If you’ll have me, you shall have it!”

“The court house? It’s Sunday!”

“A house of court, yes. May I have your dainty hand in marriage? A union of our houses will bring peace and super cute kids.”

“Oh I don’t know.” The princess had to think hard about her future. “Tell me,” she rose and scooped up the squire, “do I get this sweet pea too?”

“Ah, my faithful squire! I don’t know. She did want to be a tub monster fighting knight.”

The squire squirmed, “Yes! You get me, mommy! I’ll be a knight and a princess!”

“Well, okay. That seals it. I’ll marry you madame prince.”

“I knew it’d pay to bring my squire!” The prince high-fived the blonde girl in the woman’s arms. “You’re my best wing-man.”

“Yeah, best wing-man!” The girl threw both arms up. “Let’s eat!”

“I think a royal banquet is in order to celebrate the union.” The princess, now queen, agreed. “After a change of clothes.”

“But mom! These clothes are cool!”

“So, you don’t want to dirty them up right?”

The child pouted.

“Ah, come on Zands, live for once. How many times do you get to wear a polyester Ren-Fair nightmare to a burger joint?”

“Oh, alright. It’s not like anyone cares.”

The newly crowned royal family left their court to feast on apple slices and burgers.

**Author's Note:**

> Or how to use cuties to pick up mature women.  
> This was the original idea for Fairy tales for Lesbians, but Reenie wasn't going to let me get away with no porn, so I compromised. Some stories just don't make sense to be porn. Like Sleeping Beauty. Some total stranger assaults her in her sleep? Our lawyers would be helping her sue, and then screwing in the king's chamber when he was in court.  
> If Peri sounds young, that's because she is. I haven't found her voice yet, so I'm starting with a baby version that will let be get away with more.


End file.
